Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

1. …The day after payday you realize you’ve spent half of your earnings on “champagne” for a woman who speaks broken English and pretends to be interested in your war stories….
2. …Instead of a gold chain around your neck, you’ve got a stainless steel one threaded through a P38…
3. …Your street addresses have been Infantry [...]

A military pilot called for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running “a bit peaked”.
ATC told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
“Ah”, the pilot remarked, ” the dreaded seven-engine approach”.

After two weeks of basic training, the drill sargent lined up his troops and asked them each who they would like to spend an hour with if given the chance right now. Several soldiers answered thier mothers, thier girlfreinds, etc. Then the sargetnt came upona unique answer.
Sargent: Private, who would you most like to be [...]

Just prior to qualification with the M1 in boot camp we werezeroing in our rifles.
After each round and before the target was marked the rangeinstructors would ask where on the target(your sight picture) youthought it was. He would then advise how many clicks of elevationor windage was needed, and the process would be repeated untilyou [...]

On a street corner in London, 1942:
A gentleman walked up to a soldier and asked, “Pardon me, sir, which side is the War Ministry on ?”
“Ours, I hope.”

Some old aviators were talking about flying.

“I knew an inventor,” said one of them, “who had an airplane that could stay in the air sixty-five days without any fuel.”

“That’s impossible,” the man was told. “He’d have to come down on accounts of the law of gravity.”

“Not that inventor. He went up before the law was [...]

Colin Powell, once USA’s highest ranking military officer, (now Secretary of State), loves to relate this incident from his Vietnam days. It shows the importance of clear objectives.
Finding an outpost at a very vulnerable spot, Powell decided to investigate why it was location was chosen. He was assured that it was a very

A tankman on a tank-driving test drove his tank into a ditch by oversight. Next day he received assignment to an antitank unit.

There was this General-in-training, and his superioirs were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turining point of wordl war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and [...]

Two shipwrecked sailors met in the open ocean. Everyone was swimming on his own log.
“Hello,” exclaimed the first, “Your ship has sunk?”
“Yes, a year ago.”
“You don’t say so? And you’ve been at the sea all this time?”
“Yes, and what about it?”
“How could you endure it for so long?”
“Wondering myself. It was so boring, on Sundays