Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

At a parachute jumping school a trainee asked:
“How much is a parachute jump?”
“Ten bucks exactly.”
“And what if the chute fails to open?”
“No need to worry – money will be refunded all right.”

The flying instructor asked a trainee: “What the blazes are you doing, Hanson, with that bucket full of earth?”
The trainee explained nervously: “I’m taking it up in the plane with me so that I can at any rate keep one foot on the ground.”

The reason the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines squabble among themselves is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, take a simple phrase like, “Secure the building.”
• The Army will put guards around the place.
• The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
• The Air Force will take out [...]

George: “Hey, whats up”
recruiter: hello, how’s it going”
George: I am good”
recruiters: ” are you interested in marine corps, there are lots of opportunities in the marine corp you can do”
George:” sure I would like to know”
recruiter:”well, you go thought bootcamp first, it’s about 13 weeks of it and then you get to do combat training [...]

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if all your male ancestors fought in the Civil War on the Confederate side.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if your sister wants to join the Wives of Marines organization.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if the smell of dead

During the Vietnam war in the US, feelings ran high both for and
against the war. In one school district, all fifth graders were assigned to
write a letter to “Any Marine, Vietnam”.
When the hundreds of letters were delivered, one Marine opened his and
found the salutation: “Dear War Victim.”

An admiral reprimanded a young sailor who failed to salute him somewhere in the street.

“Why don’t you salute me, sailor?” he asked severely. “You know I’m an admiral.”

“An admiral?” exclaimed the sailor in unfeigned surprise. “And I thought admirals never walk on land.”

Recruits were shocked at the language the sergeant used in their unit. During a smoke break one young soldier asked: “Sergeant, where did you le-arn your language?”

“Learnit, hell, it’s a gift,” proudly informed the NCO.

One weekend, there was a costume party at a mental hospital, and the theme of the party was “war”.
The first patient comes up onto the stage and says, “I am an atomic bomb.” He gets his applause and steps down.
The second person comes up and says, “I am a hydrogen bomb.” Again, there is a [...]

Four retired veterans are walking down the street. When they see a sign that says “Veterans Bar,” they go in. The bartender asks what they will have and they all ask for a martini.
He delivers the drinks and says, “That will be 40 cents,” They can’t believe their good luck.
They finish the drinks