Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

A lonely Ranger on leave in a city park dropped a coin in a computer dating machine. One of the questions asked was: “What’s your hobby?” When he facetiously replied (recalling his special mountain warfare training), “Mountain climbing” he got a card suggesting a goat as his date.

I WAS WITH A GROUP of Air Force officers touring the battleship New Jersey, and we had to do a great deal of climbing up and down and twisting around inside the ship. As we emerged onto the deck where we had started the tour, one of our group exclaimed, “Now I understand why a [...]

The reporter met the troop ship bring back demobilized soldiers after World War II. He wanted to write a human interest story, and asked one soldier, “What’s the first thing you’ll do when you get home?”
The soldier immediately replied, “F**k my wife.”
The reporter realized he’d never get that printed, and asked, “Oh. Well, what’s the [...]

The Navy always tries to discourage “sickcall” to keep the sailors on duty. Two Corpsmen werestanding around when a new Seamen entered Sick Bay. The sailorasked if the ship’s doctor was any good.
“Good?” said one Corpsman. “Hedoesn’t fool around at all. A guy came in with foot cramps andthe doc cut off his foot.”
“And

Two years ago a soldier from my unit in Germany told me he witnessed the following story. When he was deployed for the Gulf War, another guy received a videotape from home. The first part contained greetings from his parents and brothers and sisters. The second part had his favorite TV shows from the US. [...]

In a P.O.W. camp in Germany, a German guard said to an English prisoner, “Swine!!”
The Englishman acknowledged, “Smith.”

A staff officer complained: “It was a genius whodeveloped a machine which could calculate every day the totalamount of toilet paper used by the entire US Army; but it was adamn fool who ordered staff people to keep track.”

During an exercise in ambush operations the sergeant noticed that a paratrooper was without his submachine gun. “Where’s your gun, Smith?” roared the sergeant.
“I’ve lost it when jumping, sergeant,” reported the bow legs.
“Blunderhead! You must have sold it to a gang and spent money on drinks?” yelled the sergeant. “At least hide here in the [...]

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A class at the University of Toronto (Canada) was discussing population trends, and they had a chart of Canadian population growth over the last sixty years that they were looking at. Not surprisingly, the highest per capita growth period was in the late 40s after WWII, but for some reason there was a huge