Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

A paratrooper on his first jump was given the following instructions: Jump from the plane and yell “Geronimo!” Count to ten and pull the rip cord.
If main shoot doesn’t open, pull the auxillary cord. When you get down on the ground, a truck will pick you up and take you back to the base.
The paratrooper

For those of you never in the military, it seems all branches try to reduce any/all situations to writing.
According to the US Navy, “Classified material shall be considered lost when it cannot be located.”

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant Marines. They come to the bar and order five bottles of beer and ten glasses. They take their order over and sit down at a large table. The caps are popped, the glasses are [...]

My father always loved fast cars. Taking advantage of the empty roads one morning, he accelerated down a wide-open stretch. Unfortunately, a young police officer was waiting at the other end, and Dad was flagged down. He greeted the officer with a cheery “Good morning!”
“And a good morning to you, Wing Commander,” replied the officer. [...]