Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

The following goes as a standing joke among Americans: “The enemy will never be so stupid as to try to destroy the Pentagon with missiles or bombs aimed at ‘Target No 1′. Doing this the enemy would only put an end to the blatant incompetence playing havoc there.”

Can’t we say ‘that’s all folks’ to PowerPoint presentations?
It saps the will of the toughest combat leaders.
It burdens even the most highly conditioned elite soldier.
It causes immense suffering, agony, sleeplessness and fear.
It consumes priceless time, energy and attention. And if something isn’t done to stop it, it will eat away at our Army

Last week NPR reported that the group “Operation Rescue” had pretty much given up on fighting abortion rights, and that they were now trying to organize against gays in the military. They interviewed the leader of Operation rescue (this is true, really), who was demonstrating in front of a military base or building

After almost a full year at sea, a sailor comes ashore, gets drunk, and runs down the street to a brothel. The old madam says, “All my girls are busy, but I’ll take care of you.”
The sailor says, “I’m all messed up, so I guess you’ll do.”
They go into a room, and after a while, [...]

The three most common expressions in aviation are, “Why is it doing that?”,”Where are we?” and “Sh*t!”
Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.
Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
Airspeed,

A Marine enters a barber shop for a haircut and a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, the Marine mentions that he always has problems getting a close shave around the cheeks, that it looks sloppy and distracts from his appearance.
“I have just the thing”, says the barber taking a small wooden ball [...]

“Here’s a special message from the general, sir,” reported the soldier. “It’s for you personally, sir.”
“Read it to me,” said the major.
The messenger read: “Of all the blundering, stupid, idiotic morons you take the cake.”
“Have that decoded at once!” ordered the major gravely.

1. Thou shalt not write in ink in thy address book.
2. Thou shalt not covet choice assignments of other uniformed branches of serivce.
3. Love thy neighbor.
4. Honor thy Commissary and Exchange as long as they both shall live.
5. Thou shalt not ridiclue a local politician, for mighty senators from local politicians grow.
6. Thou

The True Story
(By Colonel W C Hall, printed in the British Army Journal January 1953.)
Rome, II Calends, April CCCLX
SUBJECT: Recommendation for Senate Medal of Honor
TO: Department of War, Republic of Rome
I. Recommend Caius Horatius, Captain of Foot, CMCMXIV, for the Senate

An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card (unfortunately B-) ). So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: “Hey, [...]