Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

The Pasadena Tournament of Roses parade was buzzed by a B-2 stealth bomber as part of the salute to the Air Force. Reportedly, nobody noticed.

A man joins the crew of a ship. After a few days he gets restless and asks “What does one do about sex around here?”
The others direct him to a large gun barrel with a hole in it. At first he does not like the idea much but, when he tries it, he finds it [...]

The first mate was found to be drunk one day and that day it happened to be the captain’s turn to write in the ship’s log so he wrote:
The first mate was drunk today.
He begged and pleaded to the captain to remove that entry but the captain argued that once an entry was made in [...]

Fred mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left every few seconds, over and over. This really bothers Fred so he asks him, “What’s wrong with [...]

1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to
fly there.
4: A good landing is one you can walk away from, a great [...]

A sailor asked his friend: “Where’s Jimmy this afternoon on the shore?”

“If he knows much about boating as he thinks he does, he is out boating, but if he doesn’t any more about it than I think he does, he’s swimming.”

Q: What’s the difference between a Pfc. and a 2nd Lt.?
A: The Pfc. knows he’s not in charge.

Subject: MARINE ENTRANCE EXAM
Time Limit: 3 WKS
Name: _____________________________
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give
the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would

While enroute back home to Fort Bragg one summer day, I stopped at Fort Campbell for gas. I noticed a Chinook being towed into the hangar. The front of the aircraft was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in the movie ‘Twister’. I asked a maintenance type [...]

A Navy officer was shipwrecked and found himself in the hands of wild cannibals. “What’s your grade?” asked the cannibal chief. “I’m a commander,” the officer replied. “Good,” said the cannibal chief. “Tomorrow you be Commander-in-Chief.”