Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

The first reveille at a Marine Corps boot camp was a nightmare for boots. But they finally managed to dress and line up. The sergeant was going at them a tongue-lashing for being so slow and sloppy, when a still undressed figure slithered into line. The sergeant stormed over and glared into the boy’s cut [...]

The philosophical problem of correlation of space and time which has always occupied the minds of the greatest thinkers of mankind was once practically solved by an Army sergeant who gave the following order to a fatigue party: “You, men, will dig here a ditch from this fence and until dinner time!”

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty

An Air Force Captain and an Army Captain were sitting next to each other on an airplane. The Air Force Captain leans over to the Army Captain and asks if he wants to play a fun game. The Army Captain just wants to sleep, so he politely declines, turns away and tries to sleep.
The Air [...]

The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational. Paddy answered, “We’ve got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in.”
There was a stoney silence for a second or two.
“Do you know

T’was the night before Christmas,
He lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house made of
Plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimmey
With presents to give,
And to see just who
In this home did live.
I looked all about,
A strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents,
Not even a tree.
No stocking

A young wife, her boorish husband and a good-looking sailor were ship-wrecked on an island. One morning the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!” “What’s the matter with you?” asked the husband after the sailor came back down. “We weren’t making love.” “Sorry,” said the sailor. “from up [...]

Time Limit: 3 Weeks
Name: _____________________________
Signature: _____________________________

1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first

An American colonel who was visitor to West Germany thought that all Germans would speak English because there were so many American forces there with whom they had to co-operate as NATO allies.
The conductor on the train that took him somewhere punched his ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill [...]

The private pleaded for a leave on the ground that his wife needed him home. Sarcasmed the sergeant: “Do you place your wife before duty to your country, Wilson?”
“Listen, sarge,” responded the soldier, “there are ten million men taking care of my country, but as far as I know I’m the only guy taking care [...]