Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

A soldier in a tropical area was asked by his parents in a letter: “Is it hot where you serve?”
His reply was: “Terrible, and no trees. My soldier friends and I took turns sitting in each other’s shadows during breaks between training.”
The Last word
A veteran sergeant was lecturing his squad of rookie GI’s and he [...]

Piles out side the gates at school of Inf
1-torches
2-sleeping bags
3-spare DPCUs
3-changes of jocks and socks
4-gear for cleaning cups canteens, etc
5-personal cleaning gear
6-any cleaning gear not covered by numbers 4&5
7-any item that isn’t dpcu, green or brown
8-anything

The general asked his engineer: “Why did you build the unit supply point so far away from the unit area?”

“But you wanted to get it near the railroad, sir,” explained the engineer.

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals.
During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.
“How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers.
“It’s hereditary, sir,” the older one replied.
“I see,” said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your father’s the reason for [...]

During the times of the notorious draft in the USA a prospective draftee was under examination of an eye doctor.
The doctor asked him: “How do ‘you estimate your eyesight yourself?”
“Well, do you see that fly on the ceiling, doc?”
“No, I don’t. It’s too small.”
“Neither do I.”

The tactics instructor was putting a group of cadets through a tactical problem: “Cadet Blimps,” he asked sternly, “If you were on a mounted reconnaissance patrol as a patrol leader and sighted an enemy patrol pursuing you along at sixty miles an hour, what would you do?”
The cadet smiled at such a simple problem, “Ninety [...]

Private Brown asked his friend of long Army experience: “Do you know, Ted, what’s the difference between ‘bravery’ and ‘caution’?”

“Bravery is like coming over to Sergeant Jilberts and telling what in hell you really think of him for everybody to hear.”

“And ‘caution’?”

Tell him the same but on the phone.”

In the 60’s there was a Navy sailor who had for weeks been assisting in the landing of infantry in Vietnam. The sailor was fed-up with the work on the ship. He craved action, so he attached himself to one of the combat units and soon arrived at Hill 248.
There was hot action and the [...]

There’s a guy from ARMY driving from West Point to the Meadowlands, a guy from the NAVY was driving from Annapolis to the Meadowlands, and an Air Force guy who’s driving from McGwire in South Jerz to the Meadowlands just to watch the Jets.
In the middle of the night with no other cars on the [...]

With a horde of men I drive a jeep;
With a mob of chaps I try to sleep;
An army accompanies me to mess;
A platoon’s around me when I dress;
With a battalion I drill all day;
With a company I eat and play;
Men to left and men to right;
Men around me day and night;
The Army — I can [...]