Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

A VIP was on a visit to a school of snipers for Ranger units.
When the visiting brass hat was about to light a cigarette the school commandant gave terse order to a trainee: “Light it!”
Without aiming the trainee fired his pistol and lighted the cigarette. When the general finished smoking the commandant barked the order:
“Now [...]

An Army chaplain, walking through a notorious section of town, saw a soldier exiting a known house of prostitution.
The soldier paused on the sidewalk and gestured with his right hand in a manner familiar to the good Catholic chaplain.
The chaplain promptly approached the errant soldier, saying, “I’m

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if during your high school senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you’re basically a lite beer drinker, because you don’t start drinking until it gets light.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
“My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?”
“Yes,” said the Navy brat.
“My dad has built them.”
Then the naval kid spoke: “And do you know the Dead Sea?”
“Yes.”
“It’s my dad who’s killed

While talking to a potential recruit, the military recruiter said, “Exactly what kind of job are you looking for in the military?”
The high school kid said, “I’m looking for something with an enlistment bonus of about $20,000, where I won’t have to work too hard, and won’t have to deploy overseas

A young Second Lieutenant approaches the crusty old CSM and asked about the origin of the commissioned officer insignias.
The CSM replied, “It’s history and tradition … First we give you a gold bar representing that you are very valuable and also malleable. The silver bar also represents significant value, but is less malleable. When you [...]

Dear Abby,
I have a problem. I have two brothers. One brother is a boatswain in the Navy, the other was put to death in the electric chair for a gruesome multiple murder. My mother died from insanity caused by syphilis when I was three years old. My sisters are prostitutes, and my father sells narcotics [...]

Only in America do we have a General in charge of the post office and a Secretary in charge of defense.
Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House

“What happened to ‘ee, lad?” asked a country-man of a bewildered airman who crashed on a lonely moor in the Southwest of England. “I got into air pocket,” replied the airman. ‘”Ee doan’t say!” exclaimed the countryman. “And war there a ‘ole in it?”

A diner in a restaurant told angrily the waiter:
“What’s this muddy liquid you’ve brought me?”
“It’s soup, sir,” claimed the waiter.
“You don’t say so? Now, me being an old sea wolf, I can learn that I had been plowing soup waves for thirty years.”