Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

1. Your mail goes to four addresses in two countries before it reaches you.
2. You earned an Accounting degree by deciphering your husband’s LES and running a family on what was ACTUALLY deposited.
3. “Savings” sounds like a great idea and you hope to someday have some.
4. Sex – see #3.
5. You can simultaneously

You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if you shout “YeeeeHowwww” every time you go into battle.
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if that camel looks mighty pleasing too you!
You may be a ‘Redneck Marine’ if everyone else is saying OooooRahhhhh and your saying ‘Be

A university lecturer was explaining the differences between various African tribes to the next ADF observers to be sent to the UN.
“This is definitely one culture where size is everything. The Comolesi, for example, have the longest tongue of any male in Africa. The Wambesi have the largest testicles. The Zulu men are known to [...]

In September of 1861, Confederate Gen. Sterling Price led a ragtag army into northern Missouri in hopes of reclaiming the state for the Confederacy. On September 12 he met Union forces near Lexington, Mo. under the command of Col. James A. Mulligan and prepared to lay siege to the city. Mulligan and his 2700 men [...]

The old swabbie was trying to cheer up a worried green sailor: “Never mind, lad. Keep your chin up. You see how beautiful is everything around at sea. You see there is a ship over there on the horizon.”

“I don’t care about any ship,” groaned the lad. “Show me better a bus!”

Dear family and friends, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and the Department of the Army, to witness this exchange of vows, and see the love that these two dedicated, loving people have for one another.
“Wilt thou, __________, take ___________ (who was once referred to as the”dependent”), as your family member, [...]

A frightened lady in a train car screamed to draw the guard’s attention.
“Quick, a strange animal has got into my berth!”
“Animal? How does it look?”
“Judging by many stripes it’s a zebra.”
Investigations revealed an Army sergeant snoring blissfully in the berth in full uniform with

Some boys join the navy when they are quite young, and are then given a course of training as sailors. It is a long course, both on land and at sea, and during it the boys study things like mathematics and science, learn to tie knots, fire guns, and do other practical things.
One of the [...]

A violent storm had thrown the ship against rocks and the ship started sinking. Panic arose among passengers. The captain shouted through the megaphone: “Gentlemen, keep calm. Don’t make panic! There’s no danger whatever. We are not sinking. I have ordered to sailors to take ladies and children in boats away from the ship

Private Gregory was on the carpet before the unit commander. The commander said: “Gregory, the report by MP here says you’ve wrecked your truck. How many miles per hour were you making?”
“No hours, sir. I had been out only five minutes.”