Out of step – Military jokes and military humor blog

There once was a young sailor who couldn’t resist a bet. He would make a bet on anything and he would always win. His shipmates were continually losing their money to him, making them very irritated. The Captain decided to have the boy transferred to another ship.
The next day the boy was transferred,

In the draft times in the USA a young man appeared at the draft board with a waste-paper basket on his head. The draft officer exclaimed, “What are you doing” wearing a waste-paper basket for a hat?”

“Listen, reporting for the draft is like throwing my head away. And if I wanna throw my head away [...]

There was a meeting called for the highest ranking officers of all the armed forces of the United States. A heated discussion ensued about who had the bravest men. The General of the Army said “I have the Bravest men watch this, soldier get in here”
“Sir, yes sir” with a snappy salute.
“I want you to [...]

Two sailors had jumped off the sinking ship and were swimming hard trying to find something for support.
“Hey, man,” suddenly one of them shouted, “a shark has just bitten off one of my legs!”
“Which one?” shouted his friend. There was a long pause. Then… “How do I know, man? All these sharks look the same.”

Gold [...]

An Air Force brass hat called his engineer expert and told him: “I’ve just read a remarkable trick motorists use to confuse would-be witnesses to an accident.”
“What is it, sir?”
“Motorists paint their cars in different colors, each side. Then people give contradictory evidence.”
“So what,

An officer from a maintenance shop submitted a war adventure story to a military magazine. After some waiting he wired the editor, “Please report on my story immediately as I have other irons in the fire.”
An answering wire read: “We see that keeping irons in the fire was your principal adventure in the war. We [...]

Dear Ma and Pa
Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for Old Man Minch a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am [...]

There was a rush of recruits into a local sports goods store. All of them ordered all the equipment for a baseball game.
“Are you sure you want all these things, boys, in the Army?” asked the salesman.
One of the rookies answered: “Yes, you see the sergeant said if we’d play ball with him we’d get [...]

OUR MARINE UNIT, deployed to Saudi Arabia during Operation Desert Storm, was moving west on a road carved out of desert by Seabees and Marine engineers. Along the “Miracle Mile,” we saw various signs bearing Marine abbreviations such as COC (Combat Operations Center). When we came upon DIP in large black letters, my driver and [...]

A personnel clerk at Fort Meade received a document, initialed it and passed it on to the Duty Officer. It promptly came back with a note attached: “This document didn’t concern you. Erase your initials and initial the erasure.”