10. Drive up to the gate and desperatly tell the guard "My friend just got his head chopped off, and I must get him to the hospital!" (Make sure there is an emergency room on base, first).
9. Drive up with a friend in the back making screeching noises and say "I have to get Flipper to the water now, or he'll die!"
8. Scream "STAMPEDE!" and run through the gate. Make it very obvious that you are holding a JUMANJI game board.
7. Sneeze on the guard.
6. Put a cardboard cut-out of Sadam Hussian in the passenger seat and threaten to shoot.
5. Flash your Kenny Rodgers cassete "ID".
4. Claim to be General MacArthur's child.
3. Claim that you had a vision of Ted Kazinski telling you that you MUST go to the base.
2. Hold the guard up with a bright orange watergun.
And the #1 way to get on the base...
1. Ride up to the gate on a horse wearing a tri-corner hat and knickers and declare that "The British are coming, the British are coming!"