Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he
was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even
the high schools, but he couldn't find a ringer quarterback who could ensure
a Super Bowl win.
Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one
corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible
arm. He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th-story window 200 yards away
-- ka- boom! He threw another hand
grenade into a group of 10 soldiers 100 yards away -- ka-blooey! Then a car
passed, going 90 mph -- bulls-eye!
"I've got to get this guy!" Ross said to himself. "He has the
perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football,
and the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl for the first time in history.
The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of football, and when Ross asks
him what he wants, all the young man wants to do is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl."
"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You deserted
us. You are not my son."
"I don't think you understand, Mother!" the young man pleads. "I
just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands
of my adoring fans."
"No, let me tell you," the mother retorts. "At this very moment,
there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your
two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week
your sister was raped in broad daylight."
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says "...I'll never forgive you
for making us move to Detroit."
HOME DETROIT WHAT?